The Fruitless Search for “Perfection” in Dating

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If you are dating at any age and are looking for the “perfect” partner, think again.

That’s because the inverse of perfection is a complex concept with no definitive answer.

The interpretation of “perfection” varies across disciplines and cultures. However, the search for perfection is universal and has several common themes.

In Philosophy

In philosophy, the opposite of perfection may be considered imperfection, representing existence’s inherent flaws and limitations. Some would argue for incompleteness as the inverse, suggesting perfection is unattainable. Many philosophical perspectives explore the beauty and value of imperfection, emphasizing that pursuing perfection can be detrimental to growth and fulfillment.

In Psychology

Psychologically, the inverse of perfection might be viewed as self-acceptance and understanding of one’s limitations. Perfectionism, a pursuit of unattainable standards, is often associated with anxiety and depression, highlighting the potential harm of striving for flawlessness. Accepting imperfection allows for greater self-compassion and mental well-being.

In Art

In art, the counterpoint to perfection may be asymmetry or naturalism. In Japan, there is a concept called wabi-sabi, a Japanese philosophy that celebrates the beauty of imperfection and transience. This scene in artistic movements highlights imperfection, which can add depth, authenticity, and unique character to a piece of artwork. For example, asymmetry, while not a perfect mirror image, often adds beauty and depth to a piece of art.

No One Knows What “Perfection” Is

Ultimately, the inverse of perfection depends on its operational definition within a specific context. There is not a universally agreed-upon single concept that directly represents the opposite of perfection.

Perfection in Dating

You Don’t Think I’m Beautiful

The book, You Don’t Think I’m Beautiful, discusses how we don’t have the patience, self-restraint, or willpower to bracket our feelings, especially in a consumer society. Today, we are consumed with bad feelings about the nation’s politics, money, and family matters. If you are dating, there are even more things to consider.

With our two eyes, we have to train ourselves to see the two sides of ourselves and the two sides of every person and relationship.

None of this is easy.

It is a process of retraining our brains and self-restraint as we age, not to write off people we disagree with on the slightest matters.

As the sages say, you end up with nothing when you grasp everything. Be incremental in what you want to achieve. Make a friend who can turn into a partner. As we age, be realistic about our expectations. If you are an older man, look for the beauty under the makeup. The man you may meet will not be an Olympic athlete if you are an older woman.
This does not mean you should settle for something you do not want, but you should be realistic.

Realize that as an older person, you are closer to your destination than you think.
Realize that you should keep moving to your destination; as time passes, our ultimate destination is also moving towards us.

There is more on this in the book You Don’t Think I’m Beautiful, which is on Amazon.

 

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Chuck Epstein has managed marketing communications and public relations departments for major global financial institutions and participated in the launch of industry-changing financial products. He also has written by-lined articles for over 50 publications, five books and served as editor and publisher of nation’s first newsletter on the topic of using the PC for personal investing and trading. (“Investing Online, 1994-1999). He also is a marketing consultant, writer and speaker on topics related to investor protection and opportunities in the very dynamic cannabis industry. He has held senior-level marketing, PR and communications positions at the New York Futures Exchange, Chicago Mercantile Exchange, Lind-Waldock, Zacks Investment Research, Russell Investments and Principal Financial. He has won national awards from the Mutual Fund Education Alliance (MFEA) and his web site, www.mutualfundreform.com, was named best small blog in 2009 by the Society of American Business Editors and Writers (SABEW).

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