Breaking News: Trump Bible Version Deleted Section on Adultery

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The version of the Bible sold by Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has deleted the section of the Bible that cites adultery as being a significant sin, according to Bible scholars.

The omission is a significant revision to the King James version of the Bible that the Trump campaign is selling to the public. The Trump version deleted the passage on adultery (Matthew 5:27). The Trump Bible contains all the other sections of the King James version, plus copies of the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and Miranda Rights that arresting officers read to a detained person.

“We designed this version of the Bible to apply to our way of living today,” a Trump presidential campaign spokesman said.

“That’s why we added the Miranda Rights and the Constitution, so our MAGA followers and all real patriots could have all the protection they needed if they ever got arrested.  This includes protection from God and their Miranda rights, which are now at their fingertips thanks to our new handy version of the Holy Scriptures.

“And despite what some of you in the leftist media are saying, this has nothing to do with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, who are slated to testify in the trial now going on in New York.  Nothing at all.  Contrary to what many pundits are saying, Trump has not approved the slogan “Make Adultery Great Again.” Plus, that slogan would not fit on the hats.”

Deletion Is Part of Bible “Modernization Efforts”

When asked about the deletion of the section on adultery, found in Mathew 5:27, the Trump spokesman said it was just part of the campaign’s “Bible modernization efforts.” “Well, we all know the Bible is an old document, and since this is 2024, things have to change with the times, which may sometimes include some old ideas that Mr. Trump thinks are not applicable today.”

However, news about this deletion was not greeted well by Bible experts, nor were Trump campaign officials’ claims that the Bible needs “modernization.’

“This is a very significant omission and is highly irregular,” according to Anixter Walden, professor of Bible studies at Oxford University, “It’s an integral passage in the Bible.  I don’t see how this could have happened. It’s sort of like deleting a few of the Ten Commandments because you don’t like them,” he said.

Evangelical Christian ministers had a different take on this.  Buster Porter, the pastor of the “We See the Light and the Money Evangelical Church” in Amarillo, Texas, said, “We don’t think the missing passage is such a big deal.  Typos happen in big documents like this all the time, especially when you are using Word Perfect on the Wang as we have in our office.  This could be a glitch in the disk or a coding error. “It’s certainly nothing nefarious, whatever that means,”  the Reverend added.

The complete passage on adultery from Mathew 5:27  follows:

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

 

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